Earlier Today.

I'm always worried that I'm forgetting something. I check locks and switches constantly. [Actually, I'm a handwasher too.] Did I unplug the curling iron? Did I close my window? The answer is almost always YES, but I'm never at ease about this stuff.

Today I was on my way to the office and was convinced I'd forgotten my wallet. I bought a burrito last night and took my wallet out my bag. I don't think I replaced it. What am I going to do about lunch? I hate borrowing money, but no wallet means no ATM card either. No ID. I had to stop and go through my stuff. I'm sure I have it, but making sure makes me feel better.

Relief. Had the wallet. Stopped off and bought a bearclaw from my favorite French guy. Pastry in hand wallet in the other, I head to the office debating whether or not to pick up a cup of coffee as well. A homeless lady asked me for money. I'm lucky to have money. You have nothing. "Yeah okay. Here, have some money." Thank you. "Mmm...Yeah, whatever." Seriously, should I get that coffee?

It wasn't a lot of money. I'm not crazy. Not a saint. Not generous. What surprised me is that it wasn't guilt either. I don't usually give money to the homeless--not on the street anyway. It was one of the better pieces of advice I got and I pass it along to everyone: Do not give money to the homeless in Los Angeles. There are many reasons why it's not a good idea. Top of the list, it's dangerous to go for your wallet and then to open it, right in front of a stranger. Another reason, they'll remember you and bug you every single time they see you thereafter; the day you have nothing to give, they will spit on you. Literally. I see that kind of thing. You get off easy if they just abuse you verbally. What drives me crazy is that there are hot meals to be had and a surplus of beds two blocks away. There are missions and shelters all over L.A. funded by taxpayer money that the homeless choose not to take advantage of.

Why'd I give her money? I dunno. Guess I saw how hard it would be to be without breakfast and lunch for ONE DAY and freaked out. I wonder if people are less likely to donate with the economy being the way it is?